shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
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