last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
