its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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