your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
