Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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