sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
