omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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