I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize