he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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