We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
