The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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