Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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