sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
