strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
