Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I need to calm my uterus...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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