I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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