people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
