loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
