yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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