Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
