wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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