My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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