i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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