It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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