dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
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By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
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at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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