Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We had to coat check the pizza.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
