the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
