so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
