Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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