Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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