I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
