K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
