You're my little dorito
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
