he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
