Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
