Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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