I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
