9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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