Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
