Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
