Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
