sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
3pm strippers are depressing
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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