Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
