I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
