butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
