I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
false alarm. still invincible.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
