Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
