did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
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well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
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I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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