So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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