I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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