what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
