Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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