That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
