She announced her abortion via fbk
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Randomize
