so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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