I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
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she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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