Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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