Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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