is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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