you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
