Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
