do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
