Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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