i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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