At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
